I Was Charged by a Bull

And what my parents taught me, is all I really know.

It’s a crazy world, and been overtly so, since that outsider stirred so much up, starting around 2016. I left everything I knew, about that time, too, and headed to Texas with a tiny, vintage travel trailer to call home. Maybe my mid-life crisis, but it felt more like a slow awakening, once I could walk away from the distractions of others, and sit with myself.

 

I live and travel full time in a camper van, I built out with my own two hands, now. It’s a nomadic life I share with two dogs, and I enjoy it very much. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and the world around me, in the many years since I left family and friends, to find a completely new way of life.

 

I’m no spring chicken, more like an old dog, but I feel pretty good to have survived this long. A few people I’ve been close to, have not. I thought I was a goner, though, on a sunny, winter afternoon, in Victoria, Texas, at Riverside Park. A big public park, with disc golf and horseshoes, a river, and lots of green grass and big trees. I’d park there during the day, get some work done, and take long walks. I was enjoying a nice walk with my dogs, when I saw a huge black bull, maybe 30 yards away, eyeballing us. I’ve not been around aggressive cattle, but have always been cautious and respectful when walking near open range herds, or through pastures.

 

My Dad said a few things to me growing up, that really stuck. “Don’t be afraid.” And, “respect the ocean.” I also witnessed Mt. St. Helens blow its top and spew ash, living through a brief, but authentic, apocalyptic city experience, at only 18 years old. Seemingly disjointed concepts, but not really.

 

I do not live in fear, and I’m not often, afraid. Pop told me they can smell it. He must have seen me shrink a little as a kid, while we approached an intimidating dog. With his words, I taught myself to be big, after that. It’s not something I consciously did, as a child, but I knew if I was big, I was not afraid. My Mom also had a hand in this, though. She taught me to say, “Thou art with me,” over and over, if ever I felt scared.

 

I was walking across the grass, a dog leash in each hand, when I looked up to see the bull facing us, and the energy shifted. He started toward us. A brisk trot, at first, then more quickly. We were in the open grass with nowhere to go. I turned Riley loose, hoping he would provide some distraction, but kept my pup, Jetson, by my side. The rest, happened so fast.

 

It wasn’t my smarts that came out in those few seconds, no. I hadn’t a clue how to survive this rapidly approaching beast. I believe it was my surrender, that brought about what happened next. I wasn’t afraid and I wasn’t in a panic. I faced that freight train coming at me, consumed by the moment and all the high energy.

 

It’s a crazy, upside down world we live in. I don’t think much of what I learned all through school, is the honest truth. I wonder a lot about things I’d always thought to be true. The things my parents taught me, weren’t from books, weren’t from documentaries, or from Disney movies. My parents taught me about courage, character, and humility. They taught me by standing by me.

 

Now, I know you’re not supposed to look an animal straight in the eye, but I did, and I was not afraid. I stood my ground, and I kept my head up, as this enormous bull rushed toward me. Just as I expected his forehead to crash into mine, he planted his front hooves a mere 3 feet ahead of me, darted to my right, and just kept going. A county Sheriffs Deputy, who’d been trying to coax the wayward bovine back to his pasture, and a young homeless man, who said he was a professor, were witness.

 

All I could do was throw up my hands and say, “What the fuck?” I was shook and needed to walk that energy out. I gathered up Riley and we cautiously headed off in the opposite direction, along the river, and amongst the big oak trees. We walked for a while, then we left Texas.

 

This upside down world has been tough to navigate for all of us. I wonder what’s real, and what’s make believe. There are so many contradictions around us, and as we find the courage to look closer, even more craziness comes to light. Find your courage and your compass to steer clear of all the distractions, and trust you are connected to Spirit, and equipped to survive, to help make this world a better place.

 

God walks with me, and I am big, and not afraid.

 

I make bags to support this lifestyle with my two dogs. We wander, explore, and meet new people along the way. I’d be honored if you’d take a look at my handcrafted, waxed canvas bags, stitched up on a big industrial sewing machine, as we travel the back roads and small towns.

—Molly